Fruit Cake


1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 tspn salt
1 cup brown sugar
3 ounces lemon juice
1 cup of nuts
1 gallon Absolut vodka

With the holidays coming, here is a fruit cake recipe that will help take the stress out of this normally stressful time.


First sample the vodka to check for freshness.

Take a large bowl. Check the vodka again to make sure it is of the highest quality.

Pour 1 level cup of the vodka and drink it. Repeat. Repeat again.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat 1 cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add water, eggs and 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.

Make surr the vodca is still ok. Cry another tup. Turn off mixers.

Chuck in the cup of dried fruitt or something.

Mix on the turner.

If the fried druit gets struck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewscriver.

Sample the vodka to check for tonsistancity.

Next, sniff 2 cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the vodka.

Now sniff the the lemon juice and strain your nuts.

Add on Tablespoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever.

Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin 350 degrees. Whip the bowl out of the window.

Check the vodka again. Go to bed.

Who the hell likes fruit cake anyway!

Contributor: Barb Moulton